Understanding family culture

Families have incredibly complex micro-cultures. You can take two middle class Aussie families and, on the surface, they appear similar. They live in brick and tile houses, they spend Christmas together, they go on holidays to Thailand, or Fiji, or New Zealand. But the minute you start to investigate, gaping differences appear. It’s not justContinue reading “Understanding family culture”

Creativity is good for you!

Every manmade thing was created by someone. Someone thought, hey, this could work. This might make things better. This is beautiful. There’s this idea that creativity is a hallowed space that you enter deliberately. But no. Cooking dinner is creative. Writing in a birthday card is creative. Creativity is like salt or butter. It makes everything better.Continue reading “Creativity is good for you!”

What do you really like?

This is going to sound stupid but it’s only recently that I have become aware that there’s a divide between what I like and what I think I should like.  I have spent 42 years subconsciously trying to like things that ‘people like me’ like. And by that I mean the person that I want to be.  How obnoxious.  And now IContinue reading “What do you really like?”

A therapist’s view: How to choose someone to marry

The way we choose someone to marry is completely broken – and here’s why.  We do interviews and psychometric testing for jobs but when it comes to choosing a life partner, we use a much less rigorous criteria. People that go into dating with a list are generally frowned upon but there is wisdom inContinue reading “A therapist’s view: How to choose someone to marry”

How to suffer better

“In my interviews [for the book], women spoke often of suffering, and how it should be expected, rather than just avoided. This taught me to resist my Western tendency not to speak of suffering, but rather to accept that suffering happens to all and to really look at our suffering carefully.” Min Jin Lee ItContinue reading “How to suffer better”